“We non-joyous types suck energy and cheer from the joyous ones; we rely on them to buoy us with their good spirit and to cushion our agitation and anxiety. At the same time, because of a dark element in human nature, we’re sometimes provoked to try to shake the enthusiastic, cheery folk out of their fog of illusion - to make them see that the play was stupid, the money was wasted, the meeting was pointless. Instead of shielding their joy, we blast it.” - Gretchen Rubin, The Happiness Project

I’ve been reading this book for the last week and while it has it’s good points, this is one that I feel cannot be stressed enough. As a joyous one, I find that I have a difficult time tolerating the cynics and find-a-fault-in-everything ones. The author’s admission that she is guilty of this means that people who feel the need to diminish a situation or person with caustic drivel are aware of what they’re doing.

While I understand the need to vent about things from time to time, only calling upon a friend when your life is falling to pieces or tearing apart the food at every restaurant is going to cost the non-joyous ones in the long run. For one,emotions are contagious and when your happy friends choose happier company, you’ll most likely be left with fellow downers. Who will be around to lift your spirits when that happens? Another cost could come in years to your life. Happy people tend to live longer and although correlation is not causation, ye non-joyous ones should take note. 

I don’t expect anyone to “shield my joy”, as Gretchen says. I’m happy because I choose to be. Every day. It’s not easy, but it is rewarding. If I’m around you and I feel more drained than energized after we’ve hung out, there’s a good chance we won’t be hanging out very much. So next time you want to tear something down, build up something good instead, notice your mood lift and realize, “it is easy to be heavy; hard to be light.”